Post by ~*Renee*~ on May 23, 2005 3:14:23 GMT
Okay everything was going swell up until last year, and things still aren't getting any better....Here's what has happened.
At the begining of last year, 2004, my Mom's Mom died...you may ask why I say Mom's Mom instead of Grandma or in this case Nanna(from England), well it's cause I didn't know her very well I spent a year of my childhood with and then I saw her once more one a family vaca to Florida....anyways I took her death rather had and it raised my stress levels sky rocketing! I was short tempured and no one wanted to be around me..Well then a few months later I eased up a bit. My boyfriend of two years now then calls me to tell me that he's moving...to Cali. Well let's just say I didn't take it very well....cried myself to sleep for at least a week. Then my best friend of eight years now tells me that her mom has met someone and they will be moving to Oaklahoma...more stress....I went back into the nobody wants to be around me phase and then my friend comes back for a week and is staying with me for that entire week. I happy for once in a long time....we go shopping and she decides to do the most stupidest thing possible..shop lift! She gets caught and takes me with her to Juvac...Juvinile Center(or something like that) worse experiance of my LIFE! I never want to go back! Then when I got home I waited for friend to get picked up and then come by my house to pick up her things....She comes to me crying and we hug and cry for the better part of ten minutes....She tells me that it wasn't my fault, and that's what she told the cops too, and that she's sorry she got me into this mess. Of course I forgive her because she's like my sister and I could never hate her specially if she would tell the cops to let me go because I didn't do any of it and that she took it all. Well that once agian made the stress levels skyrocket.....then I get a nice visit from my boyfriend...he has news for me....Travis my other friend wants to commit suidice.....what else can I say besides I cried myself to sleep for a month thinking that I would never hear Travis's voice again...Travis pulls himself back up and doen't commit suicide. Then school starts.....High School...first year...not easy for any one! I start out great and then I found out that another friend wants to commit suicide and almost does...she put a gun down her throat and almost pulled the triger but then stops herself. By now I can't take anymore stress but I keep it all bundled inside...not a good thing, or at least for me. My friend Natalea comes to school and says that her boyfriend commited suicide by driving off a bridge. I held her and tried to comfort her...didn't work...I stayed with her all day and we just talked about everything that she was feeling. Well when that blew over I get terribly sick, and this was just a few weeks ago, part of which was from my stress levels and not being able to get control of myself. I was crying every night and just thinking what I could do better. Well I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and well I hold an end of the year party at the end of a school year every year and I've known him for a long time and he's been to everyone...only this time he won't be there...What else could go wrong? I don't know what to do anymore I've lost myself completely...I'm great at some points of the day but then I sink back down to the bottomless pit of darkness.....
At the begining of last year, 2004, my Mom's Mom died...you may ask why I say Mom's Mom instead of Grandma or in this case Nanna(from England), well it's cause I didn't know her very well I spent a year of my childhood with and then I saw her once more one a family vaca to Florida....anyways I took her death rather had and it raised my stress levels sky rocketing! I was short tempured and no one wanted to be around me..Well then a few months later I eased up a bit. My boyfriend of two years now then calls me to tell me that he's moving...to Cali. Well let's just say I didn't take it very well....cried myself to sleep for at least a week. Then my best friend of eight years now tells me that her mom has met someone and they will be moving to Oaklahoma...more stress....I went back into the nobody wants to be around me phase and then my friend comes back for a week and is staying with me for that entire week. I happy for once in a long time....we go shopping and she decides to do the most stupidest thing possible..shop lift! She gets caught and takes me with her to Juvac...Juvinile Center(or something like that) worse experiance of my LIFE! I never want to go back! Then when I got home I waited for friend to get picked up and then come by my house to pick up her things....She comes to me crying and we hug and cry for the better part of ten minutes....She tells me that it wasn't my fault, and that's what she told the cops too, and that she's sorry she got me into this mess. Of course I forgive her because she's like my sister and I could never hate her specially if she would tell the cops to let me go because I didn't do any of it and that she took it all. Well that once agian made the stress levels skyrocket.....then I get a nice visit from my boyfriend...he has news for me....Travis my other friend wants to commit suidice.....what else can I say besides I cried myself to sleep for a month thinking that I would never hear Travis's voice again...Travis pulls himself back up and doen't commit suicide. Then school starts.....High School...first year...not easy for any one! I start out great and then I found out that another friend wants to commit suicide and almost does...she put a gun down her throat and almost pulled the triger but then stops herself. By now I can't take anymore stress but I keep it all bundled inside...not a good thing, or at least for me. My friend Natalea comes to school and says that her boyfriend commited suicide by driving off a bridge. I held her and tried to comfort her...didn't work...I stayed with her all day and we just talked about everything that she was feeling. Well when that blew over I get terribly sick, and this was just a few weeks ago, part of which was from my stress levels and not being able to get control of myself. I was crying every night and just thinking what I could do better. Well I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and well I hold an end of the year party at the end of a school year every year and I've known him for a long time and he's been to everyone...only this time he won't be there...What else could go wrong? I don't know what to do anymore I've lost myself completely...I'm great at some points of the day but then I sink back down to the bottomless pit of darkness.....
